A Dive into my Instagram Feed
What do you do when you have an entire week off from work and/or school? For me, spring break was a time to do very little. During the school year, I do far too much so over break I turned my brain off and opened my favorite apps, including Instagram.
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On my personal Instagram, I very rarely post. I mainly share what I do in my Story, which is only available for 24 hours. On one's Instagram Story, one can see how many viewers for that post there were and who they were. I can't lie - I look to see who viewed my story. Reflecting on my last 25 posts on Instagram, they are either related to my dog, my boyfriend, a throwback picture, or a special moment. These go back to 2018, going to show how few posts I make. Below are two of my favorite pictures that I've posted recently. The first is from October 3, 2020. Aaron, my boyfriend, and I went to Goebbert's Pumpkin Patch. It was apparently National Boyfriend's Day, but my caption was a bit snarky. The second picture was posted on August 2, 2019. One of my best friends, Nereida, took my picture at Lollapalooza when we were waiting for Hozier to perform.
My digital tattoo, or my online presence, is one that shares to the world selective updates on my life -- the important, or exciting, moments. I very rarely share everyday moments. My posts are positive and cheerful since I want to share the best parts of myself. What I post are glimpses into my life, including my graduation, music festivals and concerts, and a rare picture with family or friends. I definitely have posted things that I regret, and yes I've deleted them to curate my feed the way that I want it to look, and how I want someone's perception of me to be. Perhaps like a regular tattoo, my digital tattoo is carefully curated, private, but when revealed, it is just the right amount of flair or decor that I choose to share.
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| Image Source: Personal Instagram Post |
A video came up while scrolling Tik Tok about how social media has created a state of surveillance for "male consumption, the male gaze, and corporate profit." We have been "tricked" into becoming dependant on external validation through likes, comments, and engagement -- it makes us seem that it is empowering, but it is really something rewarded by the male gaze. In the video, they mention that we feel an obligation to take pictures when you look good, feel good, or having time with friends and then scrutinizing just whether or not they are any good for other people, for the other's consumption. Will they like it? Will they scroll on? Is my beauty an obligation for existence? Does confidence arise from how I look when I take a selfie and share it?
"It is not my responsibility to be beautiful. I am not alive for that purpose. My existence is not about how desirable you find me." - Warsan Shire.
I do find myself asking if people will even care about what I post. Yes, everything I post is part of my real life, but these are chosen glimpses that I think others will want to see -- what I think people will like, what they will find cute, what they will think is interesting. What I post is so heavily curated from the caption, the editing I used (through an app called VSCO), and even what time of the day I post. I feel an obligation to share my life when I am at my best so that others can provide me validation for being at my best. Most of this, I feel, comes from having social media for so long and living in a world where our worth is connected to engagement. So while yes, everything I share is a part of my life, it has been so selective and limited that it isn't the real-life I live.
A comment in the Tik Tok video quoted one of my favorite poets, Warsan Shire, from a tweet of hers. "It is not my responsibility to be beautiful. I am not alive for that purpose. My existence is not about how desirable you find me." It's important to remember that my existence is more than just a like or a comment. It's beyond what glimpses of my life I share online. Validation is what I give myself in my true, real-life, beyond the one I've created to share.
Brenda -- very interesting perspective about the link between social media, consumption, corporate profit, and greed. Sometimes I think our students and many of us are the 'update generation' in that we constantly feel the need to update everyone about everything we are doing. I don't do this regularly, but my students will send each other snaps of their foreheads walking down the hallway, or a picture of the lunch table-- just to share and update others about something, but nothing of real substance. Social media platforms like Instagram and Facebook are free only because they can advertise and so there is a major level of corporate profit and greed attached these platforms as they use algorithms and listen to you to try and push advertisements on you--- and I'm guilty of buying items like this, and I know what they are doing! Imagine youngsters who are more susceptible to all of the advertisements and consumption of things to buy, to wear, and then to post about. It seems like a never ending cycle or information overload. I'm glad you feel that you can control what you post and curate to your liking.
ReplyDeleteOh gosh, those Snapchat days in high school were too much. It was THE platform to use when I was 16-18 and you're right -- the pictures were so uneventful. It could've been a pencil, my water bottle, or my forehead like you said. I'm 24 now, a part of Gen Z, and you're right. We're obsessed with updating the world. All we've grown up with are these social media platforms and we fall into the advertisements. It really is a never ending cycle until you begin the process of understanding what it REALLY means to be online.
DeleteThanks for the honest reflection about your digital tattoo. I appreciated you recognizing that you are only showing glimpses that you want to show to portray who you are. It's important to consciously think about these things every now and then.
ReplyDeleteHi Brenda,
ReplyDeleteReading what you wrote was so interesting. The way you write, I felt like you were just talking to me. That is such a skill to have and I appreciate when I read something that give me that feel!
Also, I absolutely love how you wrote that your social media accounts provide " glimpses into my life". That is such a perfect way to describe it! I loved seeing the pictures that you chose to share as well. I agree that it was clear that you picked happy and upbeat pictures, and added a little humor to your captions! love it!
I felt like I could relate to a lot of what you wrote, but some of it I wish I did the same things as you. As much as I hate to admit it, I do post on social media pretty frequently and I do wonder sometimes if my mind has been almost "trained" for a lack of better word to look for the number of "likes" and equate that to validation. Seeing that in myself, even if it is something I unconsciously do, makes me disappointed in myself and I know that I want to work on that to better myself and to be a true example to my students that "likes" don't matter and that those things you post online truly don't matter in that sense. The last part you wrote made my jaw drop- Really!! I have to quote you because I just LOVED how you wrote this.
"..."It is not my responsibility to be beautiful. I am not alive for that purpose. My existence is not about how desirable you find me." It's important to remember that my existence is more than just a like or a comment. It's beyond what glimpses of my life I share online. Validation is what I give myself in my true, real-life, beyond the one I've created to share."
Wow, that is truly so powerful. Both the quote from Warsan Shire, as well as your thoughts. Just reading "My existence is not about how desirable you find me" truly opened my mind to so many new perspectives on how I, as well as many people view social media. While, I am not anywhere near an Influencer, I feel like there are times that I do post for a "reaction" or in hopes for the "likes" or comments. I am sure that this feeling is even stronger for influencers or other Instagram famous people who get thousands of likes and comments each day. Some of the girls that I have seen in particular in those positions are very young. I do worry that those role models may drive the wrong message into other kids heads that "likes" and popularity add to their worth, where self validation and acceptance is truly what matters. :)
Hi Kaitlin! What a lovely compliment, thank you :) I think the fact that what I wrote resonates with you and others just goes to show how widespread this phenomena of social media culture is. We want the likes, we want the comments. We feel bad when we don't receive them, and internalize them because it somehow doesn't prove that we weren't worthy to receive them. Apps were designed this way, but it will take a long time for us to unlearn it. I'm glad you're able to work with younger children and help them rethink their role models and their interaction with social media so that their time to relearn everything comes much earlier than it is for us!
DeleteBrenda,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your post because I can totally relate! I feel like I post the "highlights" of my life on my Instagram. I've had my Instagram since I was in high school, so I have around 600 posts BUT I stopped posting as much the past two years. So far, I have posted 2 pictures in 2021. I'm sure we have all posted things we have regretted! I used to have a personal twitter but deleted about 5 years ago because it consumed my life. I was always trying to come up with funny tweets so I could get favorites (when that was a thing) and retweets. For what reason? Maybe to feel validated, like our Instagram posts!
Hi Katie! Yes, I absolutely had that problem too! I was posting absolutely everything on Instagram in high school, and when adulthood came, I deleted nearly everything. I too share very, very little now. I think it's part of that process of learning that everything we post could eventually come back to us, or that they never leave us so we must be much more careful.
DeleteHi Brenda,
ReplyDeleteI too am guilty of posting to my Instagram story since it is amusing to see who has viewed the story. I have noticed that when I do not post anything in awhile, I definitely have more individuals who notice that I have put something up. Your commentary of "my digital tattoo, or my online presence, is one that shares to the world selective updates on my life -- the important, or exciting, moments" very much resonated with me. I think you raise a fair point about how much curation we intrinsically do in order to limit the amount of non-positive items tied to our names floating around, or even to avoid posting too much of the mundane.
Hi!! I notice the same, Vicky. When I post after being absent on my profiles for a long time, they receive more likes and comments. It's almost like you're keeping everyone on their toes waiting for the next little glimpse of your life.
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